...but I think I'm homesick.
I left Pendleton almost 5 years ago and haven't looked back.
I left behind judgement, questions, familiarity, family, criticism and friends.
After a bit of settling in Idaho I found....Me.
When you grow up in a small town unintentional labels are put on you. Some deserved and fitting. Some not.
I was always the sister of so-and-so, the friend of so-and-so, the girl who did such-and-such and didn't do this-and-that. I never had a chance to show who or what I really was. This isn't so much the fault of a small town. I accept my role in the labeling. But when people make assumptions it's hard to break that barrier. Even as recently as a month ago I was spoken about as the girl I used to be. The girl I really really wanted to be forgotten.
I'm not sure why I'm home sick now. Maybe because I am finally happy with me. Maybe because my nephew and nieces are growing faster than I can keep up with. Maybe because a few special people have chosen to forget that other girl. Maybe because I think somebody there may need me for once.
Whatever the reason, it's here. I'm officially homesick and I can't wait to make a visit next month!
Here are a few possible reasons for my new illness:
Bella, Kaleb and Gaga at the Green Bridge
My nephew Blake and Kaleb
Acres and acres of hills to explore
At my brother's place with the beautiful Blue Mountains in the back
My brother Daryl and sister in law Nicole
View from Cabbage Hill
Bella and I taking a break
Bella, Kaleb and Bapa
Bella, my niece Tanna and Kaleb 
The Blues
Kaleb and his Uncle Daryl having guy time
My niece Charlie Mae and sister Donna
3 comments:
I totally understand Rikki, I'm so very homesick, and for the same reasons! I miss watching my neice and nephew grow, my brother, sister in-law, and my parents who have always been there for me thick and thin. It's like it hits you when you least expect it, and when it does, there is nothing like the sound of home!! Hope you get to go there soon, it will be awhile for me, just memories calling my name :(
Ya, I just don't think that I have gotten there yet but your pictures make me want to drive through! Sometimes it takes getting away fromm all that "crap" to be able to find yourself. I totally understand that! You are a strong woman with a beautiful family Rikki. Have fun going home!
Hi Rikki! I was so happy to get a comment from you! I've been reading your blog to catch up on your life. I hear you about the homesick thing...but I just went home last weekend and it was enough.
I totally relate to being "THAT GIRL". It's hard to shake the labels especially when you come from P-town. But I have learned that being comfortable in my own skin and embracing who I was back then makes me who I am today. I just wish people who knew me then could know me for who I am now. I don't lose sleep over it though. I am just so grateful for the people who have loved me through it all and I try not to judge others.
For what it's worth Rikki, I only remember you as a beautiful,fun girl who always had a smile on her face. And as far as I can tell (from your blog)...that part of you has remained the same.
I hope you have a good trip home...oh and I love the picture of the green bridge...
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